Planning, strategizing, rethinking, wondering, calculating or whatever you call it, at the bottom line she is not happy about what happened a few minutes prior to this picture. Let’s go back one hour to see the bigger picture.

A couple of months ago, Denise had a test in Taekwondo and usually breaking the board is a challenging part of the test depending on how the kick or punch should land on the board based on your belt.

Before their final performance, they practice a few times with their instructors to make sure their form is correct and their kick lands on the right spot on the board. To her and her instructor’s surprise she broke the board while practicing and the board was held only by one hand – which makes it harder to break- This gave them both the confidence – over confidence – that she will break the board with no doubt when performing for the master.

You guessed it right – for the very first time in her testing records – she couldn’t break the board and had to sit back and wait for the next round.
I’m sure, from the moment that she sat down until the time that she could go for the second trial was the longest period that she had waited.
And for me, the fact that I couldn’t go up there and break the board myself – presumably I could – and then high-five Denise that yay we did it was the hardest.

This was not a moment that I could help her in that manner or any other how. I couldn’t hug her to comfort her, and I couldn’t give her advice to help her do it better next time.
I had to watch this puzzled and disappointed face and just as an observer see how she finds her way out of this situation.

I wanted to be more than observer but that’s wrong, I wanted to be in the middle of her needs but that’s wrong, I want to be a consultant in all her business but that’s wrong.
I think this is what makes parenting so challenging and hear breaking at some points – Knowing when is wrong to be there for your kids –

Doesn’t matter which it is. Ms. Sophia and I, both got distracted by it.

It comes back down but it’s so quick that it’s almost invisible. It’s more visible in the slow version of it.

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If all goes well from now until Fall, this little bud will be the first pomegranate that our tree ever beard.

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I saw this olive tree a couple of years ago – very small at that time – in one of our local grocery stores. I wasn’t sure if it grows well in our climate here, and I even hadn’t thought of growing one in my garden. I decided to give it a try; I bought it, planted it in a pot, and placed it where it met its requirement which happened to be our front-door entrance.
We don’t need an olive plant in our backyards to remind us how peace is the ultimate solution in our time but this one surely is a great reminder for me.

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And this is a few days after I cut the sunflower seeds from the bird feeder.
I’m not sure what exactly he is doing here but he doesn’t seem happy at all.
Is he chipping off the palm tree’s trunk and eating it? .

After washing my hands up and over, front and back, finger tips and between fingers, I was holding them in the air that my right hand started complaining.
She said you know what? This doesn’t seem fair that we are just to be blamed for spreading the virus and not credited for all other things we do for you!!
Just look at how you start a day? Who rub your eyes to wake you up? Who makes your bed, wash your face, brush your teeth, fix your hair, dress you up and make you ready for the day? This is just the first 5 minutes of the day. The list is long, I can go on and on…
My mouth interrupted her, “believe me you are not the problem, I am the problem here. I am the one who let any stranger in, without checking their identity…”
I said alright, if you two like to chat, I may put you both in self quarantine together!!!
No complain since then 😉

Pepper got a booboo!
It all started by showing some authority power to Randy and his friends, the squirrels that invited themselves over for sunflower seeds.
That’s right, they didn’t come without invitation, I was the one who installed the bird feeder and filled it purposely with a mixture – of grains- that included sunflower seeds to make sure squirrels can feed from it too. -Pepper doesn’t know this part and I would like to keep it this way-

The beginning and the end of the story are pretty much accurate. The middle part however, is kind of my understanding/interpretation of the interactions between Pepper, birds, and squirrels .
Randy, the very first squirrel that discovered the thing, shared the news with most of his friends and they gradually exceeded their time share of the bird feeder to the point that even birds had to wait for squirrels to leave before they can eat.
Pepper who didn’t mind birds flying in and out and making noises, couldn’t stand the presence of squirrels and made sure they understand how she feels about them.

All the chases failed tho as Randy and friends were quick and well skilled in climbing tree branches to reach to a safe zone and wagging their tales for Pepper from up there which made her even angrier. And poor Pepper was left on the ground pretending like climbing the wall while all she was doing was scratching the wall with her claws and barking furiously.
One afternoon, after another chase and run, Pepper came inside looking very nervous and anxiously started walking around my leg. I felt something is wrong but couldn’t tell what exactly, until I found the trace of blood on the ground. I found the source of bleeding to be on her paws but couldn’t see where exactly it’s coming from. I rushed her to clinic and after examination I was told that her dew claw’s toe was broken and it torn the skin around it.

She got a bandaid, a pedicure, and hopefully a lesson to not to scratch a wall that she can’t climb.
And I learned my lesson too; this house either belongs to Pepper or the squirrels not both. I decided to cut the sunflower seeds from the bird feeder.

Due to our busy schedule since January, our Christmas tree (once a fresh tree) got to stay with us longer than usual. Just 3 months!!! This gave me the idea to mix and match the cultures that are both embedded and essential in my life. And here is the result, my 7 Ss for 1399 Persian new year on a fresh Christmas tree.
The following is what I wrote sometimes ago for what your celebrations become when you immigrate to a new country with a different culture:

24 years ago, I left Iran with a precious bag. Not the one that I was holding on my shoulders nor the the one that I checked in at the airport. A bag invisible to the eyes of others, a bag that I was holding very tight in my heart and contained very carefully-selected memories of everything that mattered very much up until that moment in my life my friends’ and family’s love and what had made me what I was at that point, my family’s culture.

I knew that I’m holding a treasure box as it will never be the same and will age with me. 

I knew that I will open it when I need to be pulled back in time and drown myself in a time when I had a smaller world surrounding me, when my heart wasn’t stretching half way around the globe, when my world could fit in a circle with 100 miles of radius. 

I was a curious seed, planning to cross many countries and ocean, looking for a different garden with different soil, and weather to settle down deep in the ground and call it my home.

Adventure started right when I stepped out of the airplane. The cold breeze in my face was just a tiny hint of what was ahead. It was mid November and technically we were still in Fall and thinking of winter was an immature idea in my head.

Continue reading A look inside of me! →