Planning, strategizing, rethinking, wondering, calculating or whatever you call it, at the bottom line she is not happy about what happened a few minutes prior to this picture. Let’s go back one hour to see the bigger picture.

A couple of months ago, Denise had a test in Taekwondo and usually breaking the board is a challenging part of the test depending on how the kick or punch should land on the board based on your belt.

Before their final performance, they practice a few times with their instructors to make sure their form is correct and their kick lands on the right spot on the board. To her and her instructor’s surprise she broke the board while practicing and the board was held only by one hand – which makes it harder to break- This gave them both the confidence – over confidence – that she will break the board with no doubt when performing for the master.

You guessed it right – for the very first time in her testing records – she couldn’t break the board and had to sit back and wait for the next round.
I’m sure, from the moment that she sat down until the time that she could go for the second trial was the longest period that she had waited.
And for me, the fact that I couldn’t go up there and break the board myself – presumably I could – and then high-five Denise that yay we did it was the hardest.

This was not a moment that I could help her in that manner or any other how. I couldn’t hug her to comfort her, and I couldn’t give her advice to help her do it better next time.
I had to watch this puzzled and disappointed face and just as an observer see how she finds her way out of this situation.

I wanted to be more than observer but that’s wrong, I wanted to be in the middle of her needs but that’s wrong, I want to be a consultant in all her business but that’s wrong.
I think this is what makes parenting so challenging and hear breaking at some points – Knowing when is wrong to be there for your kids –